Category: Uncategorized

I have been off my medication for 10 days now (by far the longest I’ve gone in a year and a half) and I wanted to see if I could just quit cold turkey but anytime I’m outside of my comfort zone – and let’s be honest, simply stepping outside and taking out the trash or checking the mail is fucking outside my comfort zone, let alone passing by someone I know and having to converse with them – I become soooooo frickin anxious and it’s been so long that I haven’t had my meds to calm my brain down a little that I forgot how to function without them! I get all red faced and sweaty and my heart rate increases by a million, I start fidgeting with my hands and depersonalizing, forgetting how to function in my own body. It’s actually quite impressive to me that this used to be normal for me. I have no idea how in the world I survived. And I used to go out far more than I do now. In a way I want to keep pushing this and see how far I can go on my own, especially now that I’ve graduated and functioning in school isn’t a main worry anymore, but another part of me is saying just take any help I can get because it was working and there’s no need to quit if I was making progress (even if it was with the help of a substance). I neeeeed some major strength and encouragement right now 🙏🏽